There is nothing like the birth of that first baby, and the powerful transition from couple to parents. I wasn’t prepared for it. Yet, through all the gore and confusion and pain of childbirth there is one moment, even 5 years ago now, that is so vivid I cannot deny that is remains one of the most powerful moments of my marriage.
The moments after birth are strange and wonderful. The relief after Gus’s birth was delicious. The new baby was placed on my chest and he nursed, but soon the nurses took him to do all of the newborn checks and the OB got to work stitching me up. Not the most pleasant experience, but while the OB worked away I gazed over at my husband. He was standing over our new little boy, watching the nurses checking him and video recording every minute. And he was crying, weeping.
For the first time ever, he was a father looking down on his son.
For months I had enjoyed the squirms and kicks of our baby, a constant confirmation of the life we had created, but for Bill this was the first time he was really able to take in his son. This was the beginning of his career in fatherhood. And he was completely overwhelmed.
And just watching him, I was too.
It was a simple moment, one I only watched. One where my husband stood over his new son and wept. But that was very possibly the most powerful moment of my marriage.
I knew my husband loved me, that we had grown together and that we shared a lot. But this moment, the one that ushered us into parenthood together, out ranked everything before it.
Years after Gus’s birth a married friend, who was debating having children, confessed that she was putting off having children because she dreaded how it might change things between her and her husband. Like kids might get between them. And I told her this story, of my husband weeping over our newborn son and how in that moment I had never felt closer to anyone, ever.
Now, on the verge of welcoming baby number four, I stand by the advice that I gave my friend. Children, all of the milestones and struggles and joys, are like glue in a marriage. Our shared love and responsibility for our growing family holds my husband and I strongly together. Sure, we don’t have time for dates and relaxing like we once did, but what we do have together is so much more. So powerful that some of our shared moments have transformed the very fabric of who and what I am.
Although Bill and I will only be celebrating 6 years of marriage this summer, these 6 years have been eventful–full of babies and moves and more babies. We both have changed and grown so much, so when Nell and Laura, my Waiting in the Word writing mates, suggested doing a Lectio Divina based study exploring our wedding vows I dove in head first. And, as an added bonus we’ve teamed up with Blessed Is She and the amazing founder, Jenna, came on board as a writer for this study, sharing stories and thoughts from her own marriage.
The study is almost ready–and I can’t wait to share it with you. This 4 week study will go on sale May 15th and together we will start the study on May 23rd.
The sacrament of marriage has flooded my life with grace and yet I have much to learn about being a wife. So. Much.
I would love it if you’d consider joining us this summer for this 4 week study. Once again we will be hosting daily discussion in our private Facebook group, which you will be invited to after you purchase the study. And in there, I would love to hear about those powerful, defining moments in your own marriage. In fact, that might be what I have loved about the Waiting in the Word studies the most–the community of women that join the discussion each day–one that starts in Scripture, moves to Facebook and ends in the real lives and families of women all across the world. It is a remarkable thing.
Once again, this study is call, Waiting in the Word, Our Vows. It will be available Monday May 16th, right here. So, stay tuned. It is a simple daily commitment–and just think of all the fruit it could bear in your marriage (and mine).
Thanks for being here–and please keep me in your prayers! I will very likely be induced this week and be meeting my sweet little girl very soon.